How to Make Friends.
How to Form Friendships
It is hard to make friends these day. In some cases, it is even more difficult to find a good friend than it is to find a lover. Does it not seem strange that it is hard to make friends? Everyone is looking for friends. We also have more tools and devices than ever before to help connect us to each other from all over the world. All these technological advances, and still the first thing that pops up when you type friends into google is questioning how to make them. Well look no further. JP Fedora is here to save the day! To get to the bottom of how to make friends, we are going to make a list.
1. What about Social Media?
Social media is a rather large part of young adult's life. They have all sorts of options to choose from like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and some I probably haven't even heard of. All these options and still it seems difficult to make connections with other people. Some people may argue that all of this social media is bring people further apart. There was a Cornell study that states young adults are getting lonelier. The study mentions young adults complaining about the problems I've discussed before, how do I make friends? Sometimes, they even complain about feeling abandoned by old ones.
It completely bums me out to read about other people having these same experiences. Friends are such a great thing to have. They can make you feel healthier and they help reduce stress. Freedom to binge watch a TV show or run around in your underwear is great and all, but sometimes you just need to be civilized and around other people. Now this making and keeping friends mission isn't going to be easy, but let's start with some age old advice. Put yourself out there!
2. Go in Blind
How about a blind date? Well you don't have to kiss the person, especially if they have funky breath or something, you just have to meet them. Have someone you do know set you up with a stranger. It is almost like a little adventure. You could even use social media to find someone. If things go poorly you'll be less likely to freak out about it since you are just out looking for a friend instead of a lover.
3. Do you
Coming back to the cliché category, you should just try being yourself. I know I know I hate that phrase too. Every person has heard it, and the first thing that pops into your head is, “well I've been trying that for 20 years and look where that has got me!” Well think of it a little different. Instead of be yourself, try don't be afraid to be yourself. Do the things you like to do. You want to go skydiving? Go do it, but first give me your bank account info just in case. If you like to read, go do so at a library or bookstore. There is a very good chance that people with similar interests can be found out doing the things you like to do. If someone catches your eye introduce yourself, you can even go in blind! Just don't knock stuff over.
3. Closer
Now that you are getting to know someone, you need to talk about something deeper than sports teams or weather. Deeper conversation can help develop intimacy or a feeling of closeness with another person. A technique I found to get the ball rolling is from the Wall Street Journal, called the Fast Friends technique. Researchers in a lab came up with this idea that they say takes 45 minutes to establish a bond. The key to this process is that both participants have to be willing to disclose personal information.
This process works be putting people into pairs. Then these pairs are given 36 questions written on index cards. The participants ask each other these questions, and the questions are answered in a certain order. The questions start less personal and then as the game goes on, they get as personal as asking about when someone last cried. The goal is to slowing build a connection over a 45 minute window. The game was developed with the idea of too much too fast is bad. So that is why you are supposed to ease into it. Give the fast friends game a try.
4. Keep Trying
It is easy to give up after one rejection after another, but do not give up! Making friends it not easy, just like pursuing a romantic interest. You pass notes to them like in grade school, you send flowers, and you invite them out to thing you know they like. You can do these things for friends too. Maybe not flowers, a card will do. It could be as easy as sending a coworker an email asking if they want to get lunch.
5. Keep Score
It sounds crazy, but try to make a goal for yourself. Tell yourself, “today I'm going to talk to 5 people.” One goal I had for myself was to talk to each and every customer I see each night. Whatever your goal is make sure you stick to it!
6. Smile
This might seem like a no brainer, but everyone around you feels more comfortable when a person is smiling. And did you know that people who smile are seen as more attractive, nicer, and more approachable than those with a neutral expression? So go ahead and show those pearly whites, and if they are not so white, try Crest.
And those are some of the tips and tricks I have on making friends. I'm always looking for new ideas so check back often! Making friends is not easy, but everyone is looking for friends. So go in blind if you have to, don't be afraid to be yourself, don't be afraid to ask personal questions, and set some goals for yourself. And remember to smile!
Click Here! for Self Help products.
It is hard to make friends these day. In some cases, it is even more difficult to find a good friend than it is to find a lover. Does it not seem strange that it is hard to make friends? Everyone is looking for friends. We also have more tools and devices than ever before to help connect us to each other from all over the world. All these technological advances, and still the first thing that pops up when you type friends into google is questioning how to make them. Well look no further. JP Fedora is here to save the day! To get to the bottom of how to make friends, we are going to make a list.
1. What about Social Media?
Social media is a rather large part of young adult's life. They have all sorts of options to choose from like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and some I probably haven't even heard of. All these options and still it seems difficult to make connections with other people. Some people may argue that all of this social media is bring people further apart. There was a Cornell study that states young adults are getting lonelier. The study mentions young adults complaining about the problems I've discussed before, how do I make friends? Sometimes, they even complain about feeling abandoned by old ones.
It completely bums me out to read about other people having these same experiences. Friends are such a great thing to have. They can make you feel healthier and they help reduce stress. Freedom to binge watch a TV show or run around in your underwear is great and all, but sometimes you just need to be civilized and around other people. Now this making and keeping friends mission isn't going to be easy, but let's start with some age old advice. Put yourself out there!
2. Go in Blind
How about a blind date? Well you don't have to kiss the person, especially if they have funky breath or something, you just have to meet them. Have someone you do know set you up with a stranger. It is almost like a little adventure. You could even use social media to find someone. If things go poorly you'll be less likely to freak out about it since you are just out looking for a friend instead of a lover.
3. Do you
Coming back to the cliché category, you should just try being yourself. I know I know I hate that phrase too. Every person has heard it, and the first thing that pops into your head is, “well I've been trying that for 20 years and look where that has got me!” Well think of it a little different. Instead of be yourself, try don't be afraid to be yourself. Do the things you like to do. You want to go skydiving? Go do it, but first give me your bank account info just in case. If you like to read, go do so at a library or bookstore. There is a very good chance that people with similar interests can be found out doing the things you like to do. If someone catches your eye introduce yourself, you can even go in blind! Just don't knock stuff over.
3. Closer
Now that you are getting to know someone, you need to talk about something deeper than sports teams or weather. Deeper conversation can help develop intimacy or a feeling of closeness with another person. A technique I found to get the ball rolling is from the Wall Street Journal, called the Fast Friends technique. Researchers in a lab came up with this idea that they say takes 45 minutes to establish a bond. The key to this process is that both participants have to be willing to disclose personal information.
This process works be putting people into pairs. Then these pairs are given 36 questions written on index cards. The participants ask each other these questions, and the questions are answered in a certain order. The questions start less personal and then as the game goes on, they get as personal as asking about when someone last cried. The goal is to slowing build a connection over a 45 minute window. The game was developed with the idea of too much too fast is bad. So that is why you are supposed to ease into it. Give the fast friends game a try.
4. Keep Trying
It is easy to give up after one rejection after another, but do not give up! Making friends it not easy, just like pursuing a romantic interest. You pass notes to them like in grade school, you send flowers, and you invite them out to thing you know they like. You can do these things for friends too. Maybe not flowers, a card will do. It could be as easy as sending a coworker an email asking if they want to get lunch.
5. Keep Score
It sounds crazy, but try to make a goal for yourself. Tell yourself, “today I'm going to talk to 5 people.” One goal I had for myself was to talk to each and every customer I see each night. Whatever your goal is make sure you stick to it!
6. Smile
This might seem like a no brainer, but everyone around you feels more comfortable when a person is smiling. And did you know that people who smile are seen as more attractive, nicer, and more approachable than those with a neutral expression? So go ahead and show those pearly whites, and if they are not so white, try Crest.
And those are some of the tips and tricks I have on making friends. I'm always looking for new ideas so check back often! Making friends is not easy, but everyone is looking for friends. So go in blind if you have to, don't be afraid to be yourself, don't be afraid to ask personal questions, and set some goals for yourself. And remember to smile!
Click Here! for Self Help products.
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